Just when I thought there was nothing more that I wanted, that there was nothing left for me to be jealous of; I turned my attention to nature. I thought about how unfair it is that the Earth gets all the oxygen it needs to sustain life and bear food to support all the various creatures that live on it. From the fish in the sea to the blades of grass. Even lightning has thunder to let it know that it exists. Everything is provided for it seems, except for me.
I need and want and long for. I never have enough and I’m never going to have enough for as long as I live. Then I read this buddhist author, Thich Nhat Hanh, and he was talking about what he sees when he looks at a piece of paper. He doesn’t see something to write on, or something to burn. He doesn’t see a vehicle to bring joy to a child perhaps through the art of origami, which would have been nice, poetic, and probably enough to satisfy me. Nay, it was so much deeper than that (yes I just said nay, and not ironically). He saw the ocean, evaporation, clouds, sun, the inevitable rain, the nutrients in the soil, the time that passed as the tree grew, the animals that may have taken shelter in it, the children that may have climbed it, the lumberjacks that cut it down as a service to their employers and families, etc. He saw all of that and I thought “Holy shit”. I’m missing everything.
I have no reason to be jealous of a flower, because although the flower does get everything it wants, the only reason this is possible is because it’s wants are very simple. And you know what else? A lot of flowers don’t get what they want, and they die. Plain and simple. And so do humans. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is being so insatiable that you send yourself into an early grave from use and abuse of drugs and alcohol, and food, and cigarettes, and sex which can result in killer STD’s, and lack of discipline which can result in unchecked depression and subsequently, suicide. There’s a million different ways to be a dying flower, but there’s only one way to be a vibrant human and to be full of life. Unfortunately you are the only one who can determine what that is, but thankfully, we’re here to help you begin to figure it out.
For a lot of people, just being of service to the next sick and suffering alcoholic is enough of a purpose, for others (like myself) we feel the need to keep that as our foundation, but branch out and see what else we’re made of. That’s why I’m here.
Why are you here?